What’s Your Story?

I ran onto the bus just as the driver was about to shut the doors. I reached into my jacket pocket and pull out my Metro Card, only to find out there was not enough money on it to pay my fare.  Sigh.

I looked at the driver, and gave him the please don’t embarrass me and kick me off the bus for not having any money look.  He shot me back a dirty look and gestured for me to go on ahead without paying.

“Thank you” I whispered.

As I made my way through the cluster of people who insisted on standing at the front of the bus, I saw an old friend I hadn’t seen since high school; Roberta Smallwood.

Roberta was very troubled back then, she was in and out of jail for robbery and she used to smoke crack. But from what I saw,  Roberta had cleaned up nicely.

The seat next to Roberta was free so I decided to sit on the tattered blue upholstery that clearly had a set-in stain. After awhile, as a New Yorker, you become a master at differentiating a set-in stain that will have no affect on your clothing from a stain that’s fresh.

Roberta immediately recognized me and we laughed and reminisced about our high school years. She opened up about her prison days and rehab. She had been clean for five years and worked as an administrative assistant for the MTA. Every now and then her eyes would wander off out the window when she spoke of her past. I guess some memories were still very fresh for her and she was still healing.  I was happy to see that she is doing so well.

The bus finally reached my destination, the subway.  Roberta and I exchanged phone numbers and emails, vowing to stay in touch, but would we really?  People often run into old friends and have every intention of staying in contact with each other, but life’s routines always seem to get in the way.

As I hopped off the bus, I was painfully reminded of the annoying blister I had on my pinky toe that would hurt every time my sandal strap would rub it.  As I thought about Roberta on the train ride into NYC, I realized that everyone has a story; there is something that happens in everyone’s life that makes them who they are.  What is mine?

Martine Chevry received her B.A. in Communications and Culture from the CUNY School of Professional Studies in June 2011.  She currently works as an Editorial Assistant and lives in Queens, New York. Martine is currently planning on self publishing her first novel in Spring 2012. She enjoys writing, working out, shopping, reading and reality television.

Finding the Perfect Workout

I’m on my eighth week of the Extreme Home Fitness system P90X and I am so bored.  I started working out in 2007.  At that time I was in a transition period and I wanted to simplify many things in my life. Working out helped me to feel better about myself, while I dealt with a lot of personal issues.

I started off by doing free workouts on Time Warner’s Exercise TV On Demand.  As I got more into it, I decided to buy workout DVDs, as well as yoga DVDs.  My favorite cardio DVD workouts are TurboJam and TurboFire with Chalene Johnson.  Fast forward four years and many workouts, I purchased P90X. I stumbled upon the infomercial one day and always wanted to try it, so when I saw it on EBay for $39.95 I knew I couldn’t pass that deal up.

I really like the trainer Tony Horton; he’s knowledgeable, funny and keeps you motivated throughout.  Here’s my problem… too much weight training and not enough cardio. I’m a cardio junkie and I need to sweat buckets in order to feel like I’ve had a good workout.  Weight training, doesn’t bring my heart rate up enough.  There are cardio workouts in the P90X system, but they are far from the high intensity that I was used to doing throughout the years.  A definite plus about the weight training, is that I’ve definitely gotten very toned, but I’m feeling too bulky, my weight has gone up and I’m not burning any fat, just building muscle.  So how do I get the weight training benefits of P90X and still get my high intensity cardio?

I’ve come up with an idea off combining P90X and TurboFire workouts.  Both of these home workouts have a week to week workout schedule.  My plan is to do one week of weight training with the P90X and then one week of high intensity cardio with the TurboFire workouts, alternating weeks until I finish both programs.  This way my muscles never get a chance to get used to anything because I’ll be constantly changing my movements. Hopefully, I’ll get the results that I’m looking for, toned and lean muscles. I know it sounds like a lot, but I’m up for the challenge and I love working out.

If anyone else wants to join me in this challenge, let me know and we can keep each other motivated.  Wish me luck.

Martine Chevry received her B.A. in Communications and Culture from the CUNY School of Professional Studies in June 2011.  She currently works as an Editorial Assistant and lives in Queens, New York. Martine is currently planning on self publishing her first novel in Spring 2012. She enjoys writing, working out, shopping, reading and reality television.

Marriage, Is It For Everyone?

The moment you’ve been fantasizing about ever since you were a little girl finally comes. The man of your dreams drops to one knee and asks you to marry him and places that 3.5 carat emerald cut rock on your finger. All of a sudden you have reality TV visions of getting “Married Away” only to become the ultimate “Bridezilla” who is constantly screaming, “Whose Wedding Is It Anyway”?

Recently, I looked up the definition of marriage in the Merriam Webster Online Dictionary, and it said: Marriage- the state of being united to a person of the opposite sex as husband or wife in a consensual and contractual relationship recognized by law.

I kept reading it over and over again… “contractual relationship recognized by law” stuck in my head.  I realized that the only difference between a long term relationship and a marriage is that the marriage is recognized by law. I personally know quite a few couples that have been together for a long time and are not legally married but function as if they are. They have the home, the kids, the cars, as well as the deep connection and commitment to each other, even more so then the married couples that I know, and they actually outlast the married couples. Why?

Today, couples that get married go into the marriage with a Plan B already formulated even before they’ve walked down the aisle. “If the marriage ends, what will I get? What will I do after?”  Hence, prenuptial agreements, which de-romanticize the entire institution, but unfortunately in a society of such a high divorce rate, it is sometimes necessary. Why do they even bother getting married? These couples need the boundaries and rules that come with being married to make them feel like they’ve taken this big leap of faith and have “grown up” when the true leap of faith is sharing an unwavering commitment to each other; one made of steel where no one can touch you two, having a friendship on fire, trusting completely, living in each moment together without doubts and insecurities. Sharing deep love and mutual respect without feeling the pressure from family, friends, television and society to make their union legal, I believe, is the true meaning of marriage. Many times, religious beliefs cause couples to succumb to the pressures as well. It’s unfortunate that couples cannot have their priest or pastor marry them without a state issued marriage license.  Does anybody remember learning about separation of church and state in junior high? Whatever happened to that? (That’s a whole other story…)

Some marry for love, some marry for money and then there are some who marry purely for the companionship. The list of reasons for why people marry each other can go on for days, but your reasons must be conducive to your partner’s reasons or the marriage will fall apart. Marriage now being merely a legal bind and a financial transaction has lost the romance it once had when our grandparents and parents got married. Whether you have a marriage license or you’ve been with your partner for many years, there are certain realities of marriage that need to be discussed before hand.  Once armed with that knowledge and awareness, I believe men and women will be able to navigate through their marriage and/or long term relationships to more fruitful outcomes.

Here are some questions you should ask yourself in regards to marriage and your partner:

• How does your partner deal with adversity?
• What type of lifestyle do you both want?
• Do you want children?
• Who will handle the money? (bills, savings, investments)
• Do either of you have personal goals that you haven’t reach yet?  Dreams of entrepreneurship? Will your partner support them?
• Can you see yourself with the same person forever? Will they keep you interested forever?
• Self-preservation…do they take care of themselves?
• Who’s more dominant? Does he/she welcome balance?
• Pre-nuptial?

I wish that I had realized some of these elements that could possibly make or break a marriage before I got married. At the time, I felt I was getting married for love, but in retrospect I succumbed to the same societal pressure as many others; trying to keep up appearances and trying to prove to myself and others that I was finally happy with someone, even if I knew in my gut that that someone was not completely right for me.

Being a true romantic at heart, I am in no way bashing marriage but I do feel that it is not for everyone. The more traditional couples who are absolutely confident of their love, bond and commitment…I say go for it and jump that broom and revel in the rarity that is your relationship. As for the more liberal couples who are completely content as you are and don’t need society’s stamp of approval, rock out a la Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn; 20 years strong and never married. Go figure.

Martine Chevry received her B.A. in Communications and Culture from the CUNY School of Professional Studies in June 2011.  She currently works as an Editorial Assistant and lives in Queens, New York. Martine is currently planning on self publishing her first novel in Spring 2012. She enjoys writing, working out, shopping, reading and reality television.

Life After Graduation

Its been a little over two months since graduation and I had so many plans as to what I wanted to do once June 7^th passed. I was going to read more (because all my reading time was used reading class material). I was going to spend more time with my daughter. I was going to use some free time for yoga and I even thought about just doing absolutely nothing. Well, that’s hard to do. I’m a writer and I have to do things and live life in order to be inspired, right?

I read Walter Mosely’s book, This Year You Write Your Novel. He had a lot of great and simple tips for stalled writers such as myself.

“My only ritual for writing is that I do it every morning. I wake up and get to work. If I’m in a motel in Mobile — so be it. If I am up all night, and morning is two o’clock in the afternoon, well, that’s okay too.

The only thing that matters is that you write, write, write. It doesn’t have to be good writing. As a matter of fact, almost all first drafts are pretty bad. What matters is that you get down the words on the page or the screen — or into the tape recorder, if you work like that.”

He has a point. Write, write, write Martine! I thought that I should continue my education , but if I fill my time with classes, when will I have free time to write? It’s like I’m scared to be great or somethin. I keep asking myself these questions:  Write every day, like Mosely suggests? Should I apply for an MFA in Creative Writing or just write? Do I need an MFA to become a successful writer? Isn’t it all about the work and the craft? So if I just sit down and write every day, won’t it come easier.  Do I need to pay an institution thousands of dollars to help me do something I can do by myself if I just do the work and write?

As it stands right now, I don’t want to tie myself down to another 2 years of studies. I’d rather work on my almost finished novel, self publish it and maybe look into the MFA programs, at least go to the information sessions, but I’m not going to throw all my eggs into one basket. The program will definitely help me perfect my craft, but right now I need to develop my voice and a consistent writing routine.  So here I am, writing.

Source: Mosely,Walter (2007). This Year You Write Your Novel. New York: Little, Brown and Company.

Martine Chevry received her B.A. in Communications and Culture from the CUNY School of Professional Studies in June 2011.  She currently works as an Editorial Assistant and lives in Queens, New York. Martine is currently planning on self publishing her first novel in Spring 2012. She enjoys writing, working out, shopping, reading and reality television.